Dear Friend,

Today, we will be talking about self-confidence.

Many people struggle with self-confidence in one way or another, so if you need a confidence boost, then I hope this letter can give you a push in the right direction.

Self-confidence is ESSENTIAL to success in nearly all endeavors.

When you have it, you are unstoppable.

When you lose it, you are like a car without an engine - stuck.

A Confidence Crisis In The Philippines

I’m just finishing my 4th week here in the Philippines, and soon after arriving, something interesting happened…

My self-confidence and inner-belief began to waiver.

This is a HUGE red flag that something was OFF in my life. I usually feel very confident in my capabilities and can throw myself at nearly any obstacle without flinching.

But before we get into my situation, let’s talk about what self-confidence actually is, so that we can start cultivating it.

What Is Self-Confidence?

Self-confidence is earned. It comes from PROFICIENCY and PROOF.

We have confidence in something, when we’ve given ourselves enough EVIDENCE that we SHOULD be confident.

Here is an example:

• If you told me to sit down at a piano and told me to play Beethoven’s Für Elise, I will lack self-confidence that I will be able to do it well. Why? Because I have NO evidence that I will be successful, in fact, I have a TON of evidence that I will NOT be successful.

• But let’s say I’m out at a local park, warming up for a short workout and a pudgy guy walks up to me and says: “hey, I’ll give you $100 if you can beat me in a 1 mile foot race“. In this situation, my self-confidence will be through the roof. Why? Because I’ve got a ridiculous amount of evidence that I can outrun 99%% of people in a 1 mile run. I have every reason to believe that I’ll leave $100 richer about 5 minutes after the race starts.

But there is this really sneaky aspect of confidence that no one really talks about…

Your narrative.

I’ll explain - sometimes, the voice in our mind runs wild and starts creating believable but false stories that kill our confidence, even in situations where we SHOULD be confident.

This is what the voice sounds like:

• “They will laugh at you.“

• “You failed last time you tried.”

• “You aren’t as good as your competition.“

Even if these things are true, they don’t have to hinder your self-confidence.

Yes, they might laugh at you, but you could remind yourself that their opinions are irrelevant. You might have failed last time, but failure is the most effective way to learn. You might not be as good at your competition in some areas, but you might have a competitive advantage over them in other areas that you aren’t considering.

Your self-talk will make or break your self-confidence, and later on in this letter I’ll give you three lifestyle changes that will improve the way you view yourself.

But never underestimate the power of optimistic self-talk.

Okay, let’s quickly run through my situation and then I’ll give you some rock-solid lessons that you can carry with you into your own life.

My Self-Confidence “Situation”

Soon after arriving in the Philippines, my self-confidence began to diminish. I have some theories as to the reasons, but it was likely a combination of these factors:

• First time traveling internationally by myself

• Complete uprooting of my daily and weekly routines

• Cultural learning curve

• Minor homesickness from being a foreigner

• 12 hour time shift

• A little overwhelmed by my own expectations to perform

• Etc.

All of these factors combined began to weaken my willpower. As a result, I started letting negative self talk start creeping in.

I was feeling shy towards getting on camera to film videos, and I was MUCH more reserved and conservative with my social interactions. Basically, I didn’t feel confident with putting myself out there.

The negative voice in my head was running the show - and it sucked.

I think it is important to share this, because many people see me from the outside as a dynamic, ambitious guy, they don’t really understand that I have insecurities just like anyone else.

But, I am pleased to say that my self-confidence has taken a complete 180 since a couple of weeks ago (thank goodness!!).

Here’s How I Fixed My Self-Confidence (And How You Can Do The Same)

If at least one of these three lifestyle changes doesn’t improve your self-confidence then I’ll refund the amount you paid to read this newsletter ($0).

Environment

You aren’t a tree, you can move. Put yourself in an environment that reinforces the person you want to be. For me, I found that the Airbnb that I was staying in didn’t fit my lifestyle, and I was spending a lot of time alone. So I paid a little extra and started staying in a much more interesting area.

But your environment isn’t just about your physical location. It is also about the people you choose to surround yourself with. I’ve found that the certain people can really build me up and make me feel stronger. The people around you should be pushing you closer to the person you want to be (not preventing you).

Appearance

This goes much deeper than just how you look, it is about your self-image and the narrative you have in your mind.

If you want to instantly double your confidence, do these three things:

• Go get the best haircut you can afford.

• Go get your nails done.

• Go put on your favorite outfit.

You’ll notice that you immediately start looking at yourself more positively and your mental narrative gets a refresh.

I did all of the above and my confidence went through the roof.

Of course, this isn’t a permanent solution, but it is a great way to push yourself into a better pattern of thinking.

Skills

Level up your skills. Become more valuable. This is the single most effective way to improve your self-confidence. You need to give yourself something to be confident about. If you don’t have a lot of confidence, but you also don’t spend any time trying to get better or improve yourself, then are you really surprised that you lack self belief? I know that might seem harsh, but it is a truth of reality.

I mean, let’s look at my self-confidence struggles from before. I’ve been trying to learn tagalog and I was feeling frustrated that I lacked the confidence to go talk to the locals. Then I started thinking about it… how much time was I actually studying and reviewing the key phrases that would encourage a conversation with the locals? I wasn’t studying at all!

So I started hitting my flashcards again and started building out and memorizing phrases that would get conversations going. Within like 4 days, I felt SO much more confident when speaking to locals.

The more PROFICIENT you become in specific area, the more CONFIDENT you will become in that area. And you become proficient through deliberate EFFORT on a CONSISTENT basis.

There is no cheating this rule: if you want a guaranteed way to feel more confident, then spend a massive amount of time “up-skilling” in the area that you lack confidence.

Watch what happens.

These three lifestyle changes worked wonders for quickly boosting my confidence.

If you are struggling with building your own self-confidence then give one (or all three) of these changes a try.

Take your confidence into your own hands. It isn’t fixed and it isn’t permanent. You can always strengthen it through deliberate effort.

All the best,

-Cliff