Hello Dear Friend,

Tomorrow, I’ll be speaking in church on the topic of ‘judgment’, so for today’s letter, I’m going to share a section of my sermon with you.

Give these three rules a chance, because they can dramatically change the way you treat yourself, how you treat others, AND how they will treat you in return.

Here are the three rules:

1. Re-calibrate your standards.

2. Embrace your imperfections.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Rule #1: Re-Calibrate Your Standards

Starting here is crucial, because when you are critical of yourself and others, it is usually because something fell below a standard or expectation.

So start with your belief system. This will give you a proven foundation upon which to build your standards. I believe in Jesus Christ and subscribe to the Christian faith. You can believe in whatever you want.

But you need to believe in SOMETHING. Because, if you don’t have a foundation of some kind of belief, then you will lapse to the standards of the world, and it will leave you feeling empty and inadequate.

Your belief system is really just the foundation, though. You still need to do the hard work of setting standards and expectations for yourself.

Again, this is crucial because when you are being critical of yourself, it is because you didn’t live up to a “standard“ of some kind.

Rule #2: Embrace Your Imperfections

When you inevitably make a mistake or fail in some way, embracing your imperfections will UNLOCK a new level of power and flexibility when navigating challenges.

Stop focusing on perfection and start focusing on progress.

This reminds me of a Japanese proverb, "Nana karobi ya oki", which translates to…

“Fall Seven Times, Stand Up Eight“.

Show up, make some mistakes, fall down, but keep getting up.

And no matter what, just keep moving forward.

Rule #3: Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

On social media, we are constantly exposed to the best versions of everyone else's life. It is really easy to look at what other people have and then look at what we have and feel disappointed.

Which reminds me of one of my favorite quotes…

You see, when you are comparing yourself to others, it pulls you out of a "gratitude" mindset and puts you into a "scarcity" mindset. Because no matter how much you have, there is ALWAYS someone that has more.

The best way to escape this comparison trap is to limit the amount of time you spend on social media, and start taking time to practice gratitude for the things you have.

Have you ever heard the phrase: "out of sight, out of mind"? Well, I always apply this to gratitude. Because when you start identifying the things you appreciate in your life, you start realizing how much you actually have.

Practice gratitude every single day. For me, I write in my journal for 10 minutes every morning and I always try to include the things I’m grateful for.

A Powerful Realization

I’ve realized that when you treat yourself fairly, when you accept your imperfections, and when you start practicing gratitude for what you have, something almost magical happens…

Not only does it completely change the way you view yourself and your inner-narrative, but it also completely changes the way you treat other people and how they treat you in return.

Let me say that again: when you treat yourself fairly, you will start treating other people fairly, and then they start treating you fairly.

When you love yourself, it is easier to love others, and it is easier for them to love you in return.

All the best to you.

-Cliff

P.S. Sorry for the late delivery, I’ve been a busily working on my talk for church tomorrow :)