Dear Single Friends,

This letter is primarily for you - the unattached, independent people out there.

Today, I'm going to tell you why you need to embrace the solitude of being single, and how to use your independence as an incredible opportunity for personal growth.

I have two goals with this letter:

1. Help you feel more at ease about your relationship woes

2. Inspire you to continue growing and developing yourself (whether in a relationship or not).

By no means am I an expert on this topic, but I've certainly learned important lessons along the way.

The approach I'll share with you today has given me an immense amount of peace (especially following my divorce back in 2020)

The opportunity of being single

I've realized through my past relationships that being single is actually an incredible opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery.

No one told me this - I had to learn it the hard way.

So today I'll give you the relationship advice that no one gives, but every single person needs.

Most relationship advice will tell you to "find the right person", but I'm going to encourage you to "find yourself" first.

Most people have no clue of WHO they are trying to become, WHERE they are trying to go, and HOW they are going to get there.

To know the answers to those questions, you are going to need to do an immense amount of "inner work".

No one can do this work for you but it must be done before you drag someone else into your life.

Commit yourself to self-discovery and personal growth. Do it right now. While you are single, and while your life is flexible.

I want you to embrace the solitude of being alone. Yes, sometimes it can be really difficult, but the solitude of being alone can be amazing - with the right perspective.

Many single people, especially guys, don't realize how much energy they burn through chasing after and thinking about potential romantic relationships.

Save your energy. Divert it into the things that are most meaningful to you.

Whenever I find myself chasing after something at the expense of other priorities, I say this affirmation, over and over:

This affirmation is great for attracting anything you want into your life, but it is especially relevant in the context of relationships.

By developing yourself and becoming the best possible version of yourself, you will find that you attract more people that resonate with the person you want to become.

It is a fundamental shift...

Do not seek. Be someone worth seeking.

I swear by this approach. It has allowed me to be more judicious and careful with all of my relationships.

Because instead of chasing someone that is a bad fit for me, I'm focused on attracting the person that is the best fit.

Lessons learned from past relationships

Here are two big lessons I learned from my most successful (and most failed) relationships:

1. Personal growth and self-discovery are crucial. Always. Whether you are in a relationship or not.

2. You both need to be in alignment with your vision for each other

My MOST unsuccessful relationships were those where we infringed on each other's personal independence, didn't respect each other's passions, and restricted the other's growth.

(on top of just not being in alignment)

And my most SUCCESSFUL relationships were those that celebrated each other's personal independence and cultivated the other's unique passions.

(while being harmoniously aligned around our visions for one another)

You may be single now, but once you land yourself in a relationship, I want you to embrace your personal growth AND respect the personal growth of your partner.

But remember, you need to be CRYSTAL CLEAR about the type of person you are trying to become. YOU need to know WHO you want to become. And your partner needs to see and love the vision of who you want to become.

You are both equally responsible for this.

My friend, please learn from my mistakes. Figure out who you are and who you want to be before you are in a relationship. And once you are in the relationship, make sure you are both in alignment around who you are both trying to become.

You are both going to change and grow - make sure you are growing together.

Life is too short to feel caged and uncomfortable in a relationship. So be patient, temper yourself, and strive to know (and become) the best version of yourself - while you have the time and space to do so.

Thank you for reading today's letter and for taking the time out of your busy life to grow and become the best version of yourself.

Embrace the solitude and make the most out of an incredible opportunity for personal growth.

All the best,

Cliff

P.S. After receiving several inquiries, I'm considering offering personal growth coaching on a 1-1 level. I'd love to get some feedback on this idea, so if you have any thoughts, please reply to this email and let me know.